Fresh, Hot Deals

Well, here we are again.
Black Friday, you bastard.

If this isn't the epitome of where the world is going wrong, I don't know what is. I really don't know who to even blame for this terrible phenomenon's increased presence each year. The customers, whose rampant consumerism drags their over-stuffed and under-slept carcasses out of bed at all hours of the morning(?) in the foulest of moods to store after store after store; treating, not only, their fellow savages like the scum of the Earth but, even worse, treating the clerks and proprieters of the establishments they're ravaging like a harem of whores there to do whatever they demand. Or the stores who open earlier and earlier every single year, dragging its employees away from their families on one of the few holidays that retail workers STILL have (for now) to be subjected to the abuses that are heaped upon them like a smorgasboard of rotting Thanksgiving leftovers.  Maybe it's an unholy combination of both.

Regardless, this needs to stop, people. Soon, Thanksgiving won't even be a holiday because retail is going to force it's employees to work that day (Old Navy) and people aren't going to be eating dinner with their families and spending time together because they'll be too busy shopping on Gray Thursday. Then, of course, stores are going to be open at 4 a.m. on Gray Thursday with all the raging deals and best buys of the year...until Black Friday...when the deals get hotter and more exclusive. Ultimately, this can all be attributed to the commercialization of Christmas, which, apparently, instead of being one day (December, 25th for those of you who have forgotten) is, actually, two months long; starting on November the first. What better way to celebrate the things you're thanful for in your life than to berate and belittle your fellow man?

Since, Occupy is the new big thing, here's my suggestion: Let's Occupy Christmas. 1% of people have to work 99% of the holiday. That seems unfair. I'll set up my hippie commune in the middle of the mall; I'll see you there.

Cyber Monday; you can continue as you are.